Vice Verses

Vice Verses - Jon Foreman

Walking along the high tide line
Watching the pacific from the sidelines
Wonder what it means to live together?
Looking for more than just guidelines

Looking for signs in the night sky,
Wishing that I wasn’t such a nice guy
Wonder what it means to live forever?
Wonder what it means to die?

I know that there's a meaning to it all
A little resurrection every time I fall
You got your babies, I got my hearses
Every blessing comes with a set of curses
I got my vices, I got my vice verses
I got my vice verses

The wind could be my new obsession
The wind could be my new depression
The wind goes anywhere it wants to
Wishing that I learned my lesson

The ocean sounds like a garage band
Coming at me like a drunk man
The ocean tells me a thousand stories
None of them are lies

I know that there's a meaning to it all
A little resurrection every time I fall
You got your babies, I got my hearses
Every blessing comes with a set of curses
I got my vices, I got my vice verses
I got my vice verses

Let the pacific laugh
Be on my epitaph
With it's rising and falling
And after all, it's just water
And I am just soul
With a body of water and bones
Water and bones

Where is God in the night sky?
Where is God in the city light?
Where is God in the earthquake?
Where is God in the genocide?

Where are you in my broken heart?
Everything seems to fall apart
Everything feels rusted over
Tell me that you're there

I know that there's a meaning to it all
A little resurrection every time I fall
You got your babies, I got my hearses
Every blessing comes with a set of curses
I got my vices, I got my vice verses
These are my vice verses
These are my vice verses

There are clothes all over the floor. Dishes are piled on the counter. The television is on. Girls are laughing (loudly).

In the middle of the clothes and the dishes and the television we are sitting on the floor, talking about the meaning of life.

And now the water for broccoli is boiling and we're standing here drinking tea and asking God to save us from ourselves.

This is the stuff of life - the stuff that cant be ignored - the stuff that makes rolling out of bed a movement of meaning.

Praying for war

Yesterday I payed that God would give me battles to fight. Today - halfway through the day that is when I finally made time to pray - I prayed the same. 

A few hours later I found myself in the kitchen severely questioning the sanity of those petitions. 

Is it arrogant to ask  for battles?

Isn't daily living enough of a challenge? ( Ironically enough I'm wondering these things as I'm attempting to multi-task a.k.a do anything + exhibit the fruits of the Spirit) Why am I asking God for a battle when I feel like I mostly fail at living well? 

I could be very wrong in my conclusion, but a few moments into this mental conversation, it did occur to me that apparently battle-filled days might be no different from all the others in every respect save one.  It could just be that today I noticed that I was in the battle I face daily. 

As someone who does experience "happy days" ( when it seems like everything is wonderful even when things go wrong circumstantially - something I attribute to grace) I do think we are able to heavily experience the effects of grace from time to time and rise above the clamor of " sin which so easily entangles."  Most days however are spent in the trenches and it seems like we ought to notice. 

This thought may not apply to those who have more fully put on the new man and participate more entirely in the life of Christ, but I'm pretty sure I'm still in the needing to notice the battle stage. 

I'm probably praying for the wrong thing, but I think God is ok with feeble attempts as a starting point. I know I don't want to sleep-walk through life, even though the thought of waking up is rather daunting. 

Encouraging Thoughts:

"There are times when there is no illumination and no thrill, but just the daily round, the common task. Routine is God's way of saving us between the times of inspiration. Do not expect God always to give you His thrilling moments, but learn to live in the domain of drudgery by the power of God." - My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

I wanted to save the world... so I got a tattoo

Perhaps it's the fact that I'm 20....(still in the young and foolish category by most estimations) which hands me so many days characterized by restlessness - days in which I just want to do something. 

"...Blood is fire pulsing through our veins, we're either riders or fools behind the reins..."

I've tossed around the idea of "contentment" quite a bit in the past year. I've thought about the virtue of being satisfied with where you are in life, as well as the merits of refusing to settle for less than the possible.  [ Mostly I think it's good to sing along with U2 and be in the place where you still haven't found what you're looking for. Otherwise it seems like you will think you've "arrived" in a way which contradicts Paul's determination to not think he'd obtained perfection yet, but to press on towards something greater.]

I fear that I am too easily pacified. I will see needs in the world, be drawn to care about certain individuals, and wish to make the effort to change. I want to radically love people, wear myself out in ministry, converse with those whose lives are only distantly connected with mine and ultimately change the way I live in order to become the sort of person I believe to be good. 

Instead I'm afraid I channel my energy towards cheap catalysts which weakly mimic actual good.  Knowing that it's a bit "out there" or "radical" I might tattoo of a phrase like Imago Dei or Kyrie Eleison somewhere on my body in order to fully embrace their symbolic meanings in hopes that my life will incarnate such truths.  Knowing that I must really care about the meaning of that phrase or symbol (in light of the fact that it will look tacky in 20 years) almost makes it worse. I feel as if I've done a great deed.  Realistically, have I done anything more than quell an intense desire to do something through self-oriented action? Perhaps. ( it's a rhetorical question ;) ) 

Thoughts for your consideration. 

"Socrates was perfectly right when he declared that there is a direct short-cut to winning a reputation: 'make yourself the sort of man you want people to think you are' " - Cicero, On Duties