Every day I die again, and again I’m reborn
Every day I have to find the courage
To walk out into the street
With arms out
Got a love you can’t defeat
Neither down nor out
There’s nothing you have that I need
I can breatheBreathe now
- Breathe, U2 - No Line on the Horizon
Oddly this post connects back to a post I wanted to write a few weeks ago after coming back from a collegiate speech and debate tournament. Somehow the two experiences, from my perspective, were fundamentally the same. A lot of comes down to 1. How/What you view yourself as and 2. Whether or not you're willing, or even able to face the world with open eyes.
I love the song Breathe because the lyrics describe a sort of life in which a person sees the world as an opportunity. He's not really looking to "get" anything - and there is a sort of freedom in that. He is motivated by the song he wants to share...
(I had the chance to share the gospel twice today and discovered that I'm not very good at it. My next thought (connected to many other thoughts about apologetics), was "Wow, being able to defend your faith is worthless if you're inept at sharing it." Both men I talked to today volunteered the information that they wanted to go to heaven, but weren't sure if God would let them in. I pulled out my Bible and shared a few verses (also realizing how poorly I navigate scripture without Bible Gateway) as well as the basic gospel story. I pray that God works through and in spite of me because I feel like my words were empty. I felt like they had closed off their souls to any sort of hope with legs. They agreed with what I said about Jesus, but it just seemed like one more piece of information. The first man, Curtis, did express his enjoyment at listening to scripture and was eager for me to pray with him - that was encouraging.)
How do we cope with brokenness?
Sometimes it's very easy to spot. For example, you're not very disillusioned about the miserable condition of some people when you walk through Skid Row. A man urinates on the sidewalk. A girl puts her shirt back on near a darkened door way. A man lies unconscious on the sidewalk as people pass by.
It's a bit harder to recognize brokenness when it manifests itself among intellectual peers - people who equate traditional Christian values with fascism. We feel like those who consistently joke about getting laid, use the f word, and consistently push limits are less deserving of respect, compassion, etc. Maybe I'm the only one that has seen that as a struggle.
Either way, it's really been on my heart recently to get to the place that I can look at people - really look at them - and just have the sort of compassionate desire for their salvation and redemption that I think Jesus would have had. Sometimes it's hard to look at people on the streets because I feel as if I can't do anything and therefore can't handle the pain. Sometimes it's hard to look at people who offend us because we have knee-jerk reactions against some aspects of who they are. Honestly, my day at the tournament a few weeks ago was made when a fellow competitor offered me a cigarette. I don't smoke and have little desire to, but it made me happy to feel like her friend - or at least someone that she'd be willing to spend more time with.
How will we change or impact or love those in "the culture" when we're not willing to get close enough to see them?
We are people borne of sound
The songs are in our eyes
The songs are in our eyes
"Sometimes it's hard to look at people on the streets because I feel as if I can't do anything and therefore can't handle the pain." *sigh* yes. My helplessness makes me try not to care.
ReplyDeleteI share your difficulty in understanding how to show love to broken people, and how to really care about them. It's hard to see where just trying to fix people is no good, because I think it's more important that we love them first, and get to that place where they can offer you a cigarette, not as a way to "get close to them" enough to trick them into becoing christians, but in order to get close enough to them to really love them as human beings. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Amy.